RIP To The Pacifier

Dear Mom,

If you’re struggling to get your child(ren) detached from the dummy, (also known as pacifier, paci, dodie, binky, soothie/soother, sucette, nunu, pacificatore), get in here! This read is for you! The pacifier goes by different names worldwide.

MY EXPERIENCE

The dummy was a lifesaver because it came to the rescue when we (as first-time parents) had no idea how to keep the baby calm. The dummy was a quick fix and worked like magic. Just shove it into the baby’s mouth and everybody was happy. Little did we know that while the dummy did the trick of calming our fussy baby, it was also nesting a strong attachment cord with its owner. The dummy could never be out of sight. In fact, if we went out without it, we would have to stop at a shop and buy a new one so that baby (and parents) would feel calm. This happened on more than three occasions and over the years, the dummy became family and was used for soothing, aiding sleep, stopping cries and the keeping the baby quiet altogether.

We knew it was time to send dummy packing when eating food became second place to it. But how could we send this key family member on its way? I received and read various counsel on ways to do it, such as, using bitter leaf, which is a bitter leaf as the name implies, to coat the dummy which will leave a bitter taste and obviously repel the child; or burying the dummy to signify its ‘disappearance’. I also considered employing the dummy fairy, which is like the renowned tooth fairy, but who takes the dummy in exchange for some money. These are all great tips which might have worked for some but I knew they wouldn’t work for me so I decided to try a reality tip.

What Did I Eventually Do?

I did the simplest but most painful (to the parents too) thing. I threw the dummies into a hotel bin! Haha! Prior to the New Year, we lodged in a hotel for a few days so when our 3-year-old daughter asked for her dummy on the first night of “operation no dummy”, I told her that the dummy stayed back at the hotel. Naturally, she whined and wailed. It was painful to watch so we offered her the comfort of sleeping in our bed with lots of cuddles whenever she wanted dummy. This went on for 4 long days and nights and I must admit that I almost gave in on the first night that she cried. Fortunately for me, hubby was a strong support and encouraged me not to cave (I’m glad I listened). As the craving for the dummy lessened, I gained the courage to toss the remaining ones at home into the trash as well. I now have a dummy-free home :-).

So, to all moms who are trying to get their little ones off the dummy, it’s do-able. Think of the resilient front you had to put up to get them off the boob, (if this comparison applies to you). My advice is straight-forward:

• Stay strong – “the first cut is the deepest”, in the lyrical words of Sheryl Crow (my favourite version of the song).

In other words, the first night is the hardest to get through but night 2 comes with healing in its wings;

• Redirect the child – when the child asks for the dummy, talk about their favourite toy/TV show which will shift their attention away from their initial request; and
• Show empathy in love – breaking an addiction isn’t easy so be gentle on the ‘addict’ by giving lots of treats.

As at the time of this post, my children are 26 days ‘dummy sober’ and no longer need it for anything. You got this too, mama!

RESEARCH FACT

Be mindful of what you feed into your child’s mind in your quest of trying to achieve a mission such as my experience above. Children’s minds will believe whatever you feed it because of the absorbent component. I love the Montessori concept of the Absorbent Mind, (a good book to read) which presents the mind of a child below the age of 6 years old, as a sponge. This spongy feature enables the child to easily absorb language and various traits around them from their families and community. Through the ‘mental chemistry’ of what is absorbed, the child builds their identity. In other words, the child becomes what they believe as a result of what they are told or experience.

Please share your thoughts on this post and if it helped you or someone you know.